When Your Innocence Is Taken

The picture attached to this blog is when I was 14 years old. It was suppose to be the time of me becoming an adult, you know, teenage years and High School. Apparently, life had something else in-stored for me, a life lesson and pivot point.

From what I recall, at this particular moment in my life, I pretty much had been living with my dad and step-mother on a full-time basis. We had just moved to another town (we moved a lot) and I was beginning my first year of High School. Me being the social butterfly that I am, didn’t take long either to make new friends. There was this park down the street from where I lived… this is where I met a majority of my friends. Some of my great moments as a teenager were spent there hanging out with my friends for hours just chilling and talking.

My freshmen year was off to a great start. I had music class with my older sister and joined the chorus with her. I went to my first home coming dance with this guy (a Senior) that I had a crush on. The people in my circle were amazing! And academically, I was doing okay but my attention was more on my social life…and why not, I was a teenager!

On one particular day, my good friend and I decided to go hang out with these two guys (acquaintance of friends from the park) after school. We had made plans to go to their house after school, have a few drinks and go see a movie. I remember leaving school and walking to their house that day…the ironic thing was that my dad had drove by and I just waved to him. Now looking back on that day, I wonder if it was a sign for me not to go with them?

We arrived at the one boys house and went down to the basement where his parents bar was. I took a seat on the barstool and started drinking 7&7’s. This is where things get a little blurry. I remember them pressuring us to drink more, even telling my girlfriend, “If you drink this you’re a real woman.” Apparently somewhere into the evening, I had fallen off the barstool and hit my head on the ground. I didn’t know at the time but I ended up with a concussion. At one point, I remember looking for my friend and found her in the bedroom passed out and naked. I also had found myself naked at one time and somehow found my clothes to get dress. One of the boys asked me what my phone number was because I think they thought they killed my friend, not sure why they thought that… I was so scared that I ended up giving them her phone number. The next thing I know, her mom, sister and my older sister were at this boys house. Apparently the parents of the one boy were upstairs the whole time and didn’t know we were downstairs. My friends sister and mine took me outside and had me walking up and down the street, they thought I was just drunk.

My friends mother and sister dropped me and my sister off at home. When I walked in the door I passed out and my dad gave me a whippen (that I don’t remember). He thought I was just drunk and didn’t know I had a concussion or that I had just been raped. I somehow managed to get upstairs to my room and put my pajamas on. I still don’t know how I did all of this with being drunk and having a concussion.

Next thing I know, my stepmother is yelling upstairs to me, “Let’s go!.” Once again, I somehow managed to get dressed and we drove over to my friends house on the next block. When we got to her house, the cops and ambulance were there. I remember sitting on her couch in the living room and seeing them take her out of the house on a gurney. One of the paramedics picked me up and told me to wrap my arms around his neck and hold because he was going to caring me out of the house to the ambulance. As soon as he stepped out of the house I passed out again and in his arms. I also remember being in the ambulance and just crying hysterically and asking the paramedics, “Where is my friend? Is she all right?”

At the hospital the doctors did a rape kit test on me and said my vagina had bruises internally and externally. They ended up admitted me into the hospital because I also had a concussion.When I got to my hospital room, my mom and stepfather (number 3) came to see me. That time is a little vague but I do remember my stepfather telling me that it was my fault and I deserved it, being raped. Who the hell says that to a kid?

My dad never came to the hospital to see me and I can’t remember why he didn’t. I always felt that my mother had something to do with it. I do remember going to the police station with my dad and talking to the detective regarding the incident. Apparently that night all my guy friends went out looking for these two boys and slashing tires. From what I heard, my friends sisters boyfriend got a hold of the older guy that raped us and beat the crap out of him. To my knowledge, nothing ever happened to these boys and I never went to court for it, to this day I have no clue why.

As I look back at that day, I truly believe I had an angel looking out for me and another incident I could relate too.

“When something bad happens you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let it destroy you or you can let it strengthen you.” – Unknown

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