So I’ve already talked about husband #1, however, I chose to skip husband #2 for now because that marriage and things that had happened in that relationship are a bit lengthy. So I’ll continue on with husband #3 and #4, then get back to husband #2 after that.
In 2000 while living in Tampa, FL., I met my third husband while I was at a Kinkos doing some work. He was handsome, originally from Puerto Rico, had a son the same age as mine (who lived in California with his mom) and was a scout for the Chicago White Sox. In our relationship, we decided not to live together or have sex until we got married. I know, strange right? Well, we thought we would try a different approach to a relationship…courtship for two years.
It was during my relationship with him that I went from being a Catholic to a Christian then a Messianic Jew. During our dating he had found out he was a descendant of Sephardic Jews, so I ended up converting to Messianic Judaism. I had then started to study all three religions, doing Torah studies, practicing the Jewish traditions and learned how to read and speak Hebrew (a little bit). It was an interesting time for me but looking back today, if I ever went back into a religion it would definitely be the Jewish faith. For some reason I find their faith interesting and I learned more studying Judaism than I did studying or observing the Catholic and Christian religion.
After two years of our courtship we decided to get married and have the ceremony around Hanukkah in the Tabernacle where we attended. After our wedding I had decided to go back to school and get a college degree. That degree would be in Criminal Justice because I wanted to be a cop like my farther was when I was younger (although my first career choice was always a flight attendant).
My relationship didn’t last too much longer after we got married. My husband started getting into the whole church thing and wanted to teach me how to preach. He wanted me to conform to being a preachers wife, which was totally not me. We started to have other issues in our relationship as well and I really had a problem with him being a hypocrite. Like when his son would come visit, he would be lenient on the rules with him because he would hardly see him. But he would not show any leniency for my son, which I didn’t believe was right. Or the fact that he wanted to be a preacher and would put the church first before his family. That just didn’t fly with me…I always believed that God and your family are first then everything else after that. There were other issues too but I don’t want to get lengthy here.
In 2004 and after some marriage counseling I had decided to get a divorce. The funny thing was that my husband didn’t think I would be able to get it that fast because of my finances. However, I was in school for Criminal Justice, have OCD and I’m like a little detective… I always figure things out (laughing). So with a little research I ended up doing my own divorce. When I went to file my divorce papers there was a filing court fee that I couldn’t afford. So with some more research, I found out that I could file a petition to the court to waive the fee because of my finances. Let’s just say that my husband was a little surprise when I served him the divorce papers sooner than he thought.
After my divorce I was working as a bartender at a night club and at the Bucs stadium in the clubhouse (during football season), taking care of my son and finishing up my degree. For a brief time I was attending school at a local campus, which wasn’t too far from my sons elementary school. It worked out perfectly, I would get out of class, grab some lunch and be at his school an hour before he got out. While I was waiting in my car for him I was trying to be proactive by eating lunch and doing my homework. This way when we got home I could concentrate on helping him with his homework, make dinner and get him ready for school the next day.
In 2005 I finished college and got my associate degree in Criminal Justice. I was so proud of myself because there were times that I would be working three jobs, taking care of my son and going to school online. So as you can imagine, I got a little overwhelmed at times and wasn’t sure if I’d ever finish school. However, not only did I get my degree, I graduated with a 3.8 and Cume Laude! I was suppose to do my graduation walk that year in Florida but the Universe had something else in store for me… something that changed my life, my fathers suicide (which I’ll discuss later in another topic blog post).
So to finish with the rest of this story, this was pretty much my routine for awhile till the spring of 2008, when the third husband came into the picture….
“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche