Hope everyone had a great 4th of July weekend!
I really didn’t do anything, the holiday is still not one of my favorites since around this time is when my dad had took his life. I’m hoping in time I can enjoy the 4th of July again…however, the following day I did go with my boyfriend for a BBQ and to watch the fireworks off the lake at his dads house. So at least I had a mini 4th celebration.
I’m actually heading out on another three day trip today. I’ve been trying to ease back into work considering I was off for 5 weeks and only got back to work a week ago. So as of right now I’m only flying three days a week. I am looking forward to getting back in the groove of things and making some money but more so enjoying my career again.
My therapy sessions dealing with the abandonment and anger from my dads death 13 years ago is finally rearing some ugly heads. But the Universe has finally caught me in its snare placing me in Vegas and finally really dealing with my fathers death. Even though I’ve been working through my emotions for years, I didn’t realize till my last session that deep down inside I never really completely healed. That I was allowing a husband, kid, animals, job and life to camouflage me process his death and really healing my mind and heart from the abandonment that I felt when he took his life.
I’m hoping in time that I can release my anger and truly forgive him. After all, he wasn’t being selfish, it’s not like he wasn’t thinking of me and I’m sure if he was in his right mind he would regret his decision. So I’m going to continue working through this and find it in my heart to wholeheartedly forgive my Dad. He deserves that and I do too so that I can move on, stop having episodes and truly enjoy my life till I see him again.
So once again, on that note… learn to fully heal from whatever negativity that consumes you. You only have one life to live so find the light at the end of the tunnel… keep moving forward… and just breathe. ❤️