I hope everyone had a good week and are having a great weekend!
Last week I had a day or two of feeling somewhat up to par and was able to do a live video chat on Facebook. My goal is that once I start feeling better with my back issues that I will do a live video chat once a month. Once that happens, I’ll be posting on my Facebook page the date and time of the live chats. Until now it’s pretty sporadic because I’m not sure what the day holds for me until I wake up. I’ve had more bad days than good (today being another good one) but I’m hoping that will change soon. Since I still haven’t worked at all this month and have not been able to do much physically, I want to talk about chronic pain.
If you have been following my life blogs then you know that I’ve been through a lot of surgeries, more than I would of liked in my lifetime. Currently I underwent my second radio frequency lumbar ablation. The first time was great and I was back on my feet within a week and then my symptoms became lessened as the days went on. However, this time it seems that my symptoms are the same (or worse) and the discomfort and pain has been something I’ve had to deal with each day since my procedure over two weeks ago.
I have a high tolerance for pain because my body has just succumb to dealing with it. I’m not into pill popping (too afraid of getting addicted) and if I do end up taking a Valium or muscle relaxer… then you know that I’m really hurting. In keeping up with my honesty I have to admit that I’ve turned to alcohol to just give me some relief to do some simple daily activities; like laundry, dishes or even cleaning my home. I feel as if I’m caught up in that rock and a hard place. I don’t want to rely on alcohol to relieve my pain and I don’t want to get addicted to drugs but I desire some kind of relief. There are even some days I just deal with the pain and discomfort without any use of pills or alcohol due to my fear of addiction. I can relate to people dealing with chronic pain and how they can get addicted to drugs or alcohol… I’m on that fence of which is the best to deal with my pain but I’m strong willed and keep myself in check. I refuse to take any narcotics on a daily basis and as far as the alcohol, I only allow myself to dull the pain but not get intoxicated.
Don’t get me wrong, even as strong willed as I am, I do worry about becoming an alcoholic. To be truthful, it scares me to even think I could become one because that would mean that I would lose control of me. And I’ve worked to hard and struggled too much in my life to ever lose control of “me”. So for those of you dealing with chronic pain, please be strong and find some means of relief that won’t put you down that road of addiction. I know it’s not easy but for me, dealing with pain is better than trying to get off of an addiction. My thoughts and healing vibes are with you! We can only take this day by day.
P.S. I am under the influence of pain and discomfort while writing this so if it doesn’t make sense… just roll with it 😉😁
Hugz & Kisses,